I’m on to module 2 of the Unstoppable Year Course and so far I LOVE what I’m learning and able to apply to my everyday life in ways I wasn’t doing before. Eating right, meditating regularly and getting active as much as I can have all been goals I haven’t stuck with in the past but after getting on board with the community and watching the first module I’ve felt more motivated than I’ve ever felt.
One of the things that stand out the most and is something I’ve wanted to conquer for a long time is fear. Yes, just general fear. The roots go deep for me with this emotion and while it stems from several different things the most important for me right now is being able to say “No” when I need to and not fear the outcome, no matter what it is.
I’ve always been a “Yes” girl, even when I knew I wouldn’t or couldn’t fulfill whatever it was that I committed to. When I have the right intentions but family or work commitments pop up, or I’m just feeling overwhelmed, I turn inward instead of being vocal about where I’m at.
I’ve learned that it’s better to be upfront and honest even if you can’t come through than to hide and pretend it will pass. Some things that fall off won’t matter, but when you’ve continually let someone you love and care about down, eventually they won’t believe you anymore. You’ll be labeled as flakey and it will be difficult to come back from that. Trust me, I know from experience.
For me in the past, I’ve extended myself so far and said “yes” to way more than I should have without once admitting to myself or others that I wasn’t going to meet expectations. I’m a classic procrastinator and avoider, with therapy I’ve been able to recognize that it’s not be ability to complete the task or project, it’s that I get cold feet and make assumptions that I’ll fail or not provide the service or work they wanted. Simplified, I don’t want to let them down, so I let it go so long it doesn’t matter any more without communicating where I’m at and in the end…I let them down anyway. Except this way, they don’t even know I tried or wanted to for that matter.
This behavior becomes a loop that you can replay over and over again at work and with loved ones until you see it for what it is and show up. The fear part of it isn’t real. It’s made up in my mind and the brain is a tricky thing to fool. It can quickly bring you to your knees with a panic attack or create scenarios that will never play out all to bring on anxiety and fear. Once we step outside of this, recognize it when the thoughts start and get a handle on it, we can begin to make waves by doing the things we’ve wanted to do without the outcome being fearful. It also allows us the ability to know when we have to say “No” to something and makes it easier to voice our needs.
I went into this course wanting to learn more about myself and build community with others who were looking for the same thing and that’s exactly what I’ve found! I’ve been lucky to win the membership and can’t wait to see where I’ll be in a year, although I’m taking it one step at a time!